


One Day, We Will Forgive

by Erina



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M, Melancholy, That's probably the better word, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1391206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erina/pseuds/Erina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day, We Will Forgive

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Syl.

_This is Sei. My son._

* * *

They hadn’t seen each other since the winter cup, yet their reunion was quiet and comfortable, almost as if they had never parted. They spoke of trivial things— _How are you? Are you well?_ —and also of their former teammates. They spoke of Teiko and their high schools, of Kagami, who was now in the NBA and of Mibuchi, who had hit a low in his life but was now recovering. They spoke of Kise’s growing popularity and Murasakibara’s new pasty shop.

They spoke of every possible, except themselves. Their personal lives were sealed, hidden away, and they seemed to have a secret agreement not to speak of anything or ask of anything personal. And so the two conversed, their conversation shallow, never dipping below the surface.

And when they parted with plans to meet the next day, Kuroko did not know more about Akashi and Akashi did not know more about Kuroko and that was fine for both of them.

* * *

_Sei is my pride and joy. Every morning he runs into my room and shouts ‘Papa’ in that voice of his and the gruesome day ahead doesn’t seem as long anymore. He looks like me, but he gets that beautiful scarlet hair from his mother. She describes him as a bundle of joy, and I couldn’t agree more._

_My brother has a son who will become the heir to the Akashi company, and while it is a bit saddening that Sei will never be the one to inherit the spotlight, I am also grateful to keep him out of the position. I have seen the amount of pressure my father has had to deal with, and my brother as well, and I wish for none of that on Sei. He is too precious, too innocent, to have to be forced into the harshness of the political world._

_Even at the cost of his fame and power, I will continue to selfishly wish to keep Sei for myself._

* * *

The next person he met was Aomine, and the nature of their conversation was much different from the one he had had the day before. While not as talkative as Kise, Aomine still opened up quite a bit in front of him, and their respect for each other hadn’t diminished over the years.

And so they resumed old practices. Aomine talked while Kuroko listened. He had been invited by Kagami to join the NBA, but declined it, saying that he needed a break from basketball before continuing. Aomine had spoken something of the sport going stale, and even though he still loved it dearly, he needed to take some time off from it to regain the usual exhilaration basketball offered him.

And so he began to train as a cop, from learning all the laws that had to be obeyed to training to use a gun. Not surprisingly to anyone, Aomine slept through most of the lectures, though he excelled in the physical activities.

Kuroko listened attentively, nodding in all the right places and offering reassuring smiles. However, the two knew each other as well as they knew themselves, and Aomine abruptly stopped in the middle of his tirade and asked him what was wrong.

Kuroko took a moment before answering. “Do you remember,” he started slowly. “When I told you I was working on observing people?”

Aomine looked slightly surprised before his lips curled up slightly. “Yeah, back at Teiko, right? You got really got good at in high school, though.”

“Do you remember how I mentioned that you look away when you lie?”

“Well, yeah. But I’ve been working on it, so now even you can’t tell.” Aomine looked proud of his accomplishment.

“That last statement was a lie.”

“Well, shit.”

“You look away when you lie, Aomine-kun. Kise-kun smiles a little wider.” Aomine looked slightly puzzled, but remained silent, allowing Kuroko to continue. “Midorima-kun fiddles with his index finger. Murasakibara-kun pauses before he speakers and Akashi-kun...” Kuroko trailed off, focusing on something in the distance.

Aomine was about to wave his hand in front of Kuroko’s face to see if something was wrong, but Kuroko spoke again. “Akashi-kun always touches his left wrist slightly.”

“Why are you telling me this, Tetsu?”

“Please keep it in mind. It might come in handy one day.”

* * *

_The three of us—Sei, my wife and myself—went to a nice park today to eat outside. Sei ran around innocently, trying to chase the butterflies. He had an encounter last week, where some students stopped speaking to him because all the teachers love him for his intelligence. I worried that it would damage his morale, but he hasn’t let it bother him. And every time he comes home, his eyes sparkling as he talks about the teachers that have complimented him, I cannot bring myself to tell him to try and stand out less._

_His happiness right now...I cannot take it from him._

* * *

They had all left for separate places after their educations had been finished. Kagami and Aomine had headed to America. Kise spent his time travelling over the world, never forgetting to send back all types of souvenirs and weird photos. Murasakibara had gone to Paris for awhile, and Midorima chose to accompany him there, though the two had parted ways as soon as they had landed.

Even Akashi had moved, though only to the other side of Japan, where business needed him the most. Meanwhile, Kuroko stayed where he was, trying to get through everyday life without reminiscing about the things that he once had.

Strangely enough, even though the two were the closest, they rarely talked. Akashi was always busy and Kuroko never had anything important enough to call and interrupt his work. It seemed that a barrier had erected between them, a barrier they had never spoken about but just _knew_ had to be built. Because if they had spoken, they would have undoubtedly thought back to the Finals, and then to high school and middle school, and that was something neither of them wanted to think about.

And so Kuroko kept in contact with everyone besides Akashi and Akashi kept in contact with no one and for five years, this was how they lived their lives.

* * *

_Sei is getting smarter at a surprisingly fast rate, but he doesn’t seem to mind his newfound intelligence. He is so eager to learn new things, to discover, to solve, and neither I nor my wife are able to refuse him when he comes to us with his eyes open wide asking for the next book to read._

_I ask if children usually go out and enjoy the sunshine instead of cooping up in a library, but my wife just laughs and tells me to leave him be. Sei has his own interests he wants to pursue, and it is a parent’s duty to support his child._

_And therefore, I will support him._

* * *

Aomine is surprised to see Akashi in the supermarket. He is too pristine and too high class and looks very out of place in such a shabby shop, but Aomine chooses not to comment on it and Akashi offers no explanation.

They exchange very awkward greetings; the two of them had never been the best of friends. From Akashi’s calculating, precise ways to Aomine’s formless and often reckless style, the two did not share much in common. However, Kuroko’s words from the day before rang clearly in his head, so Aomine trailed after Akashi, trying but failing to make conversation.

And so they walked around the supermarket together, and awkward silence settling between them. Aomine’s eyes were darting back and forth and he mentally scolded himself. What was he, a nervous schoolgirl trying to confess to her crush?

Akashi, however, seemed to be perfectly content with ignoring him.

After several failed attempts to start any real conversation, Aomine had his last chance as the two of them stood outside of the supermarket. Akashi had two bags slung on his left arm while he slid his wallet back into his pocket with his right. Again, Akashi did not look like he belonged there. And again, Aomine thought it wise to keep quiet.

Just as Akashi turned to leave and head toward his car, Aomine suddenly found his voice again and called to him to hold up. Akashi stopped, but didn’t turn around; however, his head was tilted in a way to show that he was listening.

Clueless on what to say, Aomine shuffled around a little bit before awkwardly asking Akashi how he was doing.

Akashi didn’t even grace him the privilege of eye contact; he kept his back to Aomine. “I am doing well, Daiki. And yourself?”

“I’m fine,” Aomine responded, and the silence returned. After a couple moments, Aomine realized that Akashi could be leaving at any moment and struggled to find something to say. Why did he even want to talk to Akashi so much anyways? He didn’t know. He blamed Tetsu for saying what he did.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and then mentally slapped himself for asking the most stupid question he could possibly think of.

Akashi, however, only seemed amused. “I said I was doing well. Was there anything else you wanted?”

Not particularly, but Akashi seemed strangely colder. Aomine didn’t know him that well, but he was fairly certain that it wasn’t Akashi’s style to turn his back on someone when they were conversing. He seemed more like the type who would meet everyone head on.

“Everything’s fine? Your life, your family, your job?” Aomine was just grasping at straws here now, feeling that the conversation was nearing its end. And perhaps it had never really started.

“Yes. Everything is fine. Thank you for your concern.” And with that, Akashi barely nodded his head in a sign of acknowledgement before heading toward his car, placing the bags into the back seat before driving off.

_Well. That went great._

But he had seen it, Aomine realized as he watched Akashi’s car turn the corner and disappear from sight. It was at times like these that he really respected Tetsu and his abilities.

He had seen it.

That tiny touch to the wrist.

* * *

_Sei learned how to play basketball today. I do wish he had joined a less physical activity, but he loves basketball with all his heart. He said he finds it fascinating, a sport that joins both athleticism and intelligence._

_He wants to be a point guard, he said, seemingly resigned to his fate of a small stature. He had been practicing his observational skill. He comes home from school every day and tells me of the tiniest details that can be easily missed._

_My wife suggested for him to also try to be a detective of some sort. There is no doubt he would make a good one. However, he refused. He only wants to play basketball. Perhaps, just like he and my wife make my life worth living, basketball makes his._

* * *

To be completely honest, Kuroko didn’t know when exactly he forgave Akashi.

Was it after the finals, when Kuroko was sitting by himself at the park? Akashi had disappeared for a couple of days after the ending of the Winter Cup and his Rakuzan teammates were worried sick. Kuroko knew Akashi could take care of himself, but after that look of pure rage that had come across Akashi’s face, Kuroko didn’t know anymore.

And that was why it was surprising when Akashi came to the park by himself. Kuroko sat at one end of the bench while Akashi sat on the other. There was a tense silence. Kuroko couldn’t tell; was Akashi angry or indifferent? Did Akashi hate him now? Did _he_ hate Akashi?

Surprisingly, it was Akashi who broke the silence. His words also came off as a surprise. “It is during our darkest moments,” he muttered. “That we must focus to see the light.”

Kuroko turned toward him, finally looking at him for the first time. Everything was the same. There were no puffy red eyes from crying or dark shadows. But Kuroko could see the slight difference in the way Akashi carried himself. He no longer walked with the air of confidence that he once had.

Now, he was just an emperor knocked off his throne.

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." 

“What?”

“Don’t let it concern you, Tetsuya.” Kuroko frowned. “It’s just something that someone once told me. It’s strangely fitting, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so.” Kuroko swung his feet around. “But sometimes, there just is no light to focus on.”

He thought of Ogiwara. 

And the other opponents that he had ruthlessly crushed.

And perhaps, even a bit of himself.

Perhaps he hadn’t quite forgiven Akashi. Not yet.

And Akashi seemed to know that.

* * *

_Sei will be entering middle school in two years. He wants to enroll at Teiko. Their basketball teams are national level, but I know that Sei will be able to keep up._

_My wife, he and I are going on a vacation next weekend. We will go to our beach house in Miyako-jima for two weeks. Sei does not know how to swim yet, so my wife will be teaching him. He really is eager to learn everything. Sometimes, just watching him grasp everything so quickly, I forget that he’s just a little boy._

* * *

Kuroko visits the graveyard the next day. It’s about time, he thinks. He had avoided it for five years, and it wasn’t quite fair to leave it neglected. There was no one else. His grandparents were long gone, he had no siblings, and his father had left when he was very young.

He sat in front of the gravestone, hugging his knees to his chest. He thought about talking for awhile, but what was he supposed to say? There was nothing going on in his life anymore. He was a kindergarten teacher, a job he had always wanted to have, but now life just seemed repetitious. Gone were the unpredictable basketball games. Gone was the high school drama.

Gone were his days of happiness.

The last time he could remember that he felt truly happy was the day of the Winter Cup finals. The victory over Akashi and Rakuzan. The second years celebrating and Kagami’s grin as he slung an arm around Kuroko’s shoulder, and the phantom sixth man smiled so wide that he felt as if his face was going to split in half.

And then there came the latter half of that day. The phone call. The run to the hospital. The doctor’s solemn face. The meaningless words. And later on, the cold, cold, corpse.

He had been enjoying himself while she had lay dying. He had been celebrating in her time of need. He hadn’t been there for her even though she had been there for him all this time. And now, she was dead, and there was nothing he could say.

All those arguments seemed petty. All those disagreements merely a waste of precious time. Even basketball didn’t seem worth it anymore.

And so he quit for the sport he loved for the second time, and this time for good.

(It wasn’t just because of her death, though. It was also because he had been rejected by the very person he put his complete trust in, but Kuroko wouldn’t admit that to himself until later.)

Kuroko brushed himself up, standing over the gravestone. He had brought flowers, the lonely thing decorating the otherwise empty area.

He gave a polite bow. An apology was on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out, but he swallowed it back in. He had so many things to apologize for, but it had been five years. The apology had no meaning anymore. And, he had a feeling that she wouldn’t care for it, either.

So instead, he uttered a soft, “Thank you.”

The gravestone of Kuroko Tetsuna watched his back as it disappeared down the path.

* * *

_Sei and I were at the beach when the phone call came._

* * *

The next stop was the hospital.

He did not know why he was here. There was simply no purpose. This building would only cause him pain.

But perhaps he needed pain to make him feel alive again.

Kuroko padded to the second floor without being questioned by anyone. After all these years, his misdirection still had not worn off yet. It was easy to slip in and out of a crowd without being noticed. Some days he found it helpful, and others he found it lonely. But it was something he was stuck with.

Kuroko walked down the hallway, taking in the white walls and the medical smell. He could hear the children screaming, the parents trying to quiet them down, the doctors speaking in trained, calm voices.

And then, he stopped in front of the seventh room on the left. The room that had marked the end of his childhood and the beginning of his adolescence.

He just stared at the door. What a cruel door it was.

And as he stared at the door, something else caught his eye. The doorplate. And that was when Kuroko realized that perhaps it was the world that was cruel.

_Room 027_

_Akashi Seijuro_

* * *

_“Papa?” Sei says for the millionth time. He climbs into my lap, forcing me to face him. His crimson eyes stare at my own. “Papa, what’s wrong?”_

_I cannot answer him._

* * *

They don’t meet for a few months. There is no word from Akashi, and despite what Kuroko had seen in the hospital on that day, he doesn’t call the redhead either.

Kuroko wondered why it is so hard with Akashi. He had already forgiven everyone else years ago. It was not because he liked Akashi any less. He and Midorima, for example, had patched up their relationship long ago, though to say that the two of them got along well was still an overstatement.

He respected Akashi. Liked him, even. But why was there still a cold gap between the two of them, and why had neither of them tried to breach it?

Perhaps Akashi knew that Kuroko needed time and kept his distance. But was Akashi really that thoughtful?

Kuroko picked up the phone.

* * *

_The trip to the hospital is horrid._

* * *

“Hello?”

“Akashi-kun.”

A pause. Then, “Tetsuya. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Are you busy?”

There was some shuffling. Some muffled voices in the background. Kuroko guessed that Akashi was probably at his office.

“I have a couple of minutes,” Akashi said finally. “Is there something you need?”

“...yes,” Kuroko said, suddenly aware that he had no way to make it sound pleasant. “The hospital. Your name.”

“...I see.”

* * *

_There are doctors everywhere. Chaos. Sei is by my side, but I do not even notice him._

_All I can see is that doctor coming over with a clipboard and a grim expression._

* * *

“That’s not my room.”

“What?”

* * *

_“Well?” I demand. “How is she?!”_

* * *

“It is my father’s.”

* * *

_“I’m sorry, sir, but...your wife is dead.”_

* * *

“His father?” Aomine raised an eyebrow. “Well, I guess it’s not that strange for them to share the same name. Akashi’s a rich boy, and don’t they all do something like that? They love their names so much so they have to pass them down.”

“Please don’t compare everyone to yourself, Aomine-kun.”

Aomine scowled. “I bought you that milkshake, Tetsu. The least you could do is try to play along.”

“Please focus on the task at hand.”

“Ah, right. Akashi, right?” Aomine scratched the back of his head. “Did he say anything after that?”

“Something to do with karma.”

“Are you serious? I thought that was Midorima’s thing.”

“They’re completely different, and please stop changing the topic.” Kuroko was starting to get slightly annoyed and Aomine picked up on it easily, his face becoming completely serious again.

“Other than that, did he say anything else? Did he even visit his father?”

“He didn’t say, but I don’t think he did.” Kuroko paused. “And I don’t think he plans to.”

“Tch.” Aomine looked out the window as people rushed to find a shelter from the pouring rain. “I didn’t even know he had a family problem until Midorima told me four years ago.”

That was true. Midorima, upon obtaining Akashi’s permission, had told the former teammates about Akashi’s father and the reason for the appearance of his Emperor’s Eye. They had all been appropriately shocked.

However, Kuroko suspected that there was some part in him that had always known there was something going on in the Akashi household. The way Akashi—in middle school—always acted like he had to please someone. The way Akashi avoided talking of his family at all costs. The way Akashi never invited anyone over. It reminded Kuroko...

Of himself.

He must have zoned out, because the next thing he knew, he was jolted out of his thoughts by Aomine waving a hand in front of Kuroko with a strange look on his face.

“Hey, Tetsu,” Aomine said. “Did you and Akashi ever—”

“No,” Kuroko said. “We didn’t.”

* * *

_It was a car._

* * *

“Who was that?”

“An old friend.” Akashi didn’t look up from the sheet of paper he was reading. His secretary, however, did.

“Oh? One of your high school buddies?”

“Middle school, actually.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Was he part of your legendary miracle team?”

“Yes.” Akashi sealed the envelope. “Tetsuya has always been there.”

She picked up the envelope from his desk and placed it on her own, making a mental note to send it out later. “Well, why don’t you go catch up with him or something? I’m sure the office can survive without your being here for a couple of hours.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Already, Akashi had gone back to his perusing.

“And why not?”

She could’ve sworn she saw his lips twitch slightly into what looked like both a smirk and a frown at the same time. How that was possible, she didn’t know, but when she tried to look more carefully, it was already gone, his usual impassive expression back in place.

“Tetsuya still has a grudge against me.”

* * *

_The driver didn’t see her._

* * *

“Excuse me,” Kuroko mumbled to no one in particular, as no one in the busy hallway could even see him.

Against his better judgment, he was here again. Room027. The room his mother had died in.

The room Akashi’s father was now hospitalized in.

Kuroko had called Akashi’s office multiple times over the course of the week, but he was always busy with some thing or another. His secretary had offered to take a message multiple times, but he simply thanked her and hung up. Everything that he wanted to say was better said directly.

He had visited Aomine a couple of times as well, since the former ace was temporarily on a vacation. The two of them had gone to the courts to play basketball just like old times. Or rather, Aomine showed off as Kuroko watched. And though Kuroko had noticed many times in middle school, watching Aomine play again reiterated a thought that he hadn’t had in a long time.

_Aomine-kun is really amazing._

As Aomine scored his one hundredth point against air, he turned around with the same old lopsided grin Kuroko had grown to love. And as Aomine opened his mouth, Kuroko knew that whatever was going to come out of it would be absolutely ridiculous.

“Hey, since Akashi won’t visit his dad, why don’t you visit for him?”

Kuroko didn’t know why he ended up listening.

Taking deep breath, Kuroko pushed the door open before he could regret it. He didn’t even know why he was here. What would he say? There was a large chance that Akashi’s father wouldn’t even notice him. What would he do then?

When he started to second guess himself, he was already inside the room.

There was a man lying down on the bed, but he instantly shot up when Kuroko entered the room. “Seijuro?” He called.

Kuroko blinked, slightly shocked that he had been noticed, and also that Akashi’s name had left his mouth. “I’m sorry to intrude,” Kuroko said, bowing slightly. “My name is Kuroko Tetsuya. I am a friend of Akashi-kun.”

“...I see.” Kuroko could see the visible disappointment on the man’s face as he slumped back down against his pillows. “Seijuro has spoken about you. He admired your basketball abilities greatly.”

This surprised Kuroko slightly. “I respected Akashi-kun a lot as well.”

The man gave him a weak smile. “I don’t suppose Seijuro will be gracing me with his presence anytime soon, will he?”

Kuroko thought about lying, but decided against it. “I don’t think he will. He’s busy with the office.”

A small pained look flashed across the man’s face before it went blank again. “That’s alright then,” he mumbled. “As long as he’s keeping up with his work.”

Kuroko left the hospital later without having learned anything.

* * *

_She was killed instantly._

* * *

Kuroko remembered once, in the middle of his second year at Teiko, he had planned for Ogiwara and Akashi to meet. Ogiwara had been pestering him constantly about meeting the person Kuroko respected so much, and Akashi had been curious about Kuroko’s childhood friend as well. Kuroko himself was very excited for the two sides of his life to meet for the first time. He hung up a calendar on the wall, circled the date in a red marker, and counted down the days.

However, last minute, Akashi was called away for family business, and the topic of them meeting was never brought up again.

* * *

_Sei found out today that his mother has died. The maids told him that she was away on a business trip, but Sei is a smart child. There is no keeping anything from him._

_He refuses to leave his room._

 

 

* * *

 

"Akashi-kun.”

“What is it, Tetsuya?”

“I...” _Your father wants to see you._

“Yes?”

“Never mind.”

* * *

_It’s been days._

* * *

In middle school, whenever Kuroko wasn’t with Aomine, he was with Akashi. And whenever Akashi wasn’t with Midorima, he was with Kuroko.

They were each other’s second choice. They never prioritized the other.

However, one day Kise said something—which earned him angry retorts from both Midorima and Aomine—that got Kuroko thinking.

_“What if there was no Aominecchi or Midorimacchi?”_

* * *

_He finally came out today._

_His eyes are red. He is skinnier. However, he is holding up. I am proud of him._

_What kind of father leaves his son to mourn by himself?_

_I retrieved the wristband my wife had planned to give Sei for his birthday. While it still pains me to think of her and how unhelpful I had been when it really counted, I have to help Sei get through this._

_He’s eating when I attach the wristband. He stares at it, but doesn’t comment._

_“It’s from Mommy,” I say. He stops eating. He’s still staring._

_He looks like he might want to rip it off and throw it across the room._

_I crouch down next to him. He isn’t looking at me, but I can tell he’s listening. “Sei,” I say, and finally he turns his head to acknowledge me. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Please remember that.”_

_Now it’s up to him._

* * *

There was once, Kuroko could remember, when Akashi very nearly lost.

It wasn’t a loss, per se, but more of a personal disappointment. But Kuroko knew that everyone else would view it as a loss.

With the scores hanging up on the main bulletin board, Kuroko slipped out of class, avoiding the crowds, to go and look. He found his name easily enough, right in the middle, as it always was. His grades were always average.

Akashi was, of course, first. He was first by a large margin, a margin that not even Midorima and his rolly pencil could bridge. Akashi was truly invincible and while he knew that it annoyed Midorima, the shooting guard had acknowledged Akashi’s brilliance and infallibility long ago.

Kuroko was about to turn away and head to the courtyard to avoid the crowd, but something caught his eye. Frowning, he glanced over at Akashi’s score.

It was not a perfect score.

Akashi had gotten some things wrong.

In the end, it didn’t really matter. The grades were already recorded in the grade book, and Akashi’s average was high enough to cover for any sort of terrible grade that he might get. However, there was the public opinion. The judging. The gossiping.

Kuroko tore the top right corner of the sheet of paper off.

Kuroko did not tell anyone what he did, and no one ever asked. Akashi, who must have sensed something wrong during the test, looked seemingly relieved when the ripped paper was presented to everyone.

Kuroko didn’t miss the way Akashi looked at him.

Akashi probably knew it was him. He always seemed to know everything. But neither of them brought it up.

It was their little secret.

* * *

_We went out for dinner. Just the two of us. It was nice. But still, the hole cannot be ignored and neither of us was in a particularly chatty mood. But this is the first time in a long time that we’ve done something together. I’m going to take it one step at a time._

* * *

Kuroko was called to the hospital.

“Hello,” Kuroko said politely as he entered the room again. He had thought that he would never come back here, but the nurse had called him saying that the man had asked for him. And Kuroko, unable to refuse anyone, had agreed.

“Kuroko-san, thank you for coming.” The man looked thinner than last time, if that was possible. However, he pulled himself up and gave Kuroko a small grin. “I apologize for the lack of hospitalities, but please take a seat.”

Kuroko took a seat, still a little wary.

“How is he?”

It didn’t take a genius to know who he was talking about. “He’s fine. He’s still doing his work.”

“Is he well?”

“Yes.”

“Does he seem happy?”

These words confused Kuroko. When Midorima had told them about Akashi’s father, he had implanted an image of pure evil into Kuroko’s head. But then, who was this? A man who only asked about his son’s wellbeing did not fit the description.

“He’s as happy as he usual is,” Kuroko said finally.

“I see.” The man muttered. He had not given Kuroko a name to call him, and referring to him as ‘Akashi-kun’ did not seem right.

“You may tell him,” he said. “That he doesn’t need to work anymore.”

* * *

_My brother came by the house today._

_We exchanged some greetings. He offered his condolences. We talked. It wasn’t very pleasant, but then again, we’ve never had the best of relationships._

_He is the elder son, so his son will become the next heir. I used to be jealous of him, but now I am happy that his son will assume the role that I do not want Sei to have._

_Before he left, he told me that Father would contact me soon._

_That makes me worried._

* * *

“Excuse me?”

“That’s what your father wanted me to tell you,” Kuroko said. He looked away. “He said that you don’t have to work anymore.”

Akashi looked thoughtful, before his lips quirked up slightly. “Is he disowning me now?” He mused. “It doesn’t seem to be the appropriate time, does it?”

To be honest, Kuroko had been thinking about the same thing since the previous day. “No it doesn’t,” he said. “But perhaps he wants you to take a break and rest for a little bit.”

“Perhaps,” Akashi looked amused. “But Father is not that nice.”

* * *

_The phone is ringing. It’s Father._

_Sei is outside in the garden with some of the maids. He’s still not back to normal yet, but he’s recovering._

_I have a bad feeling about this._

_I do not want to pick up._

_But my hand does it anyway._

* * *

He might have admired for Aomine, been slightly appreciative of Kise’s positive energy, thankful for Midorima’s calmness and grateful for Murasakibara’s presence, but there was only one person who Kuroko really respected and felt indebted to.

Because while Aomine had discovered him, Akashi had cultivated him.

While Aomine was his best friend, Akashi was somewhat of an omnipotent figure. A king. A god, even.

And that is why, when the god fell, so did all the other pieces.

* * *

_”Hello, Seijuro, it’s been awhile.”_

_“...hello, Father.”_

* * *

“Thank you very much, Akashi-kun.” Kuroko gave a formal bow. “It’s because of you that I can play on the team now.”

Akashi looked very surprised that the phantom sixth man had asked for him to stay behind just to thank him, but he returned the smile. “That’s alright, Kuroko. I’m very glad to have you on the team as well. Not just as a player, but also as a person.”

Kuroko blinked. “I-I like Akashi-kun as well.”

Akashi looked slightly amused. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go catch up with the others, shall we?”

* * *

_“We need to talk.”_

_“About what?”_

* * *

“Geez,” Aomine said, rolling his eyes. “Why is everyone on this team so formal? Stop calling each other by your surnames already. Or at least attach an interesting suffix, like that idiot.”

“Hey!” Kise’s cry of protest could be heard.

Akashi’s lips quirked up, but he didn’t say anything. Kuroko glanced over at him. “I’m alright with Akashi-kun calling me anything,” he said. “But Akashi-kun will always be Akashi-kun to me, no matter what.”

* * *

_“Let’s talk about your son.”_

* * *

“Why? Why would you do this, Akashi-kun? D-do you not care anymore?”

“Of course I care. You are very valuable to me, Tetsuya.”

“Valuable? As a player or as a person?”

Akashi didn’t answer.

* * *

_“Your son will be the heir.”_

* * *

It was a complete accident when Akashi found out.

He had paid Kuroko’s house an unexpected visit. The teacher had discovered Kuroko’s folder on the floor and Akashi had been free. There was no practice that afternoon, so he decided to pay his sixth man a visit. He was also rather curious about the kind of house and the type of parents Kuroko had.

He did expect a warm smile from Kuroko’s mother, who shared the same features as her son.

He did not, however, expect Kuroko’s door to be completely jammed shut, locked and barricaded by chairs and tables, so that only those from the outside could open the door.

* * *

_“What?”_

_“Your brother’s son, for reasons I will not disclose, cannot be the heir of the Akashi household anymore. As such, the next in line is your son.”_

_“But I can’t—”_

_“This is not a matter of whether you can or cannot. Akashi Seijuro is the next heir. His sole reason for existence is to serve this purpose.”_

* * *

The two of them were at a park. Kuroko sat on the swings, his legs moving back and forth. Akashi stood nearby with his arms crossed. Neither spoke, not willing to break the silence. The leaves blew. Cars passed in the background. It was otherwise a very peaceful day.

Finally Kuroko spoke, looking down at his feet. “My mother is very possessive.”

Akashi didn’t say anything, but listened with rapt interest and concern.

“My father left when I was very young. Because of that, she often thinks that everyone will leave her. That’s why she likes to keep me locked up in my room.” Kuroko raised his head to meet Akashi’s eyes. “I don’t like it, but it doesn’t harm me and it makes her feel better, so I can put up with it.”

“Kuroko,” Akashi said, trying to phrase his words in a way that was least offensive. “You do realize that this isn’t normal behavior, right?”

“Of course. But I love my mother and I am willing to overlook it.”

“What about when you go to college?”

A small sad smile appeared on his face. “I’ll think about that when the time comes.”

Akashi sighed. “I will speak to her and see if I can work anything out.”

* * *

_“Your son will be the heir to the Akashi household. Remember the responsibilities and prestige that come with this title. Failure will not be an option. If he should fail, you know what will happen to both you and him, am I correct?”_

_“No, I can’t—”_

_“Seijuro,” he said, and I am trembling. That voice of my childhood, condescending and strict._

_I feel trapped._

* * *

“Do you remember,” Kuroko said, walking over to the swing set. “That this is where I told you about my mother?”

“Yes,” Akashi said.

“You promised to talk to her.”

“I did.”

And he had. Akashi was always eloquent with his words, and he even got someone like Kuroko’s mother to lessen her grip on her son.

But it was because of this that he hadn’t been there for her when she was dying in the hospital.

It wasn’t Akashi’s fault.

But for years, Kuroko had pretended it was, if only to place the blame on someone.

“Tetsuya, come here.”

Kuroko looked at him, surprised. “Why?”

“I’ll push you.”

Kuroko gave him a look. “Akashi-kun, I am much too old for this. The swing will probably collapse under my weight.”

Akashi just stood there, smiling pleasantly, until Kuroko finally couldn’t take it anymore and sat down on the swing with a huff.

Akashi’s hands splayed out across his back, giving small pushes. Kuroko kept his eyes forward as he swung back and forth so that he couldn’t see Akashi’s expression. Was he neutral? Happy? He could never tell.

He shared a special bond with all of his former teammates, but his bond with his captain was perhaps the most unique. In some ways, Kuroko felt that they were both caged birds, trapped by family responsibilities. There was no easy way to escape.

And perhaps, that was why Kuroko felt upset that Akashi managed to break out by himself and leave Kuroko in the dust.

* * *

_He keeps talking and talking. The trembling has transformed into shivers._

_His voice. His words._

_Make it_

_Stop._

* * *

Kuroko had been denial since middle school. He had never accepted the change and clung onto some small sliver of hope that perhaps there was still some trace of the old Akashi in the new version.

“I will kill anyone who opposes me,” Akashi said. “Even my family.”

There really wasn’t.

* * *

_“Seijuro, I am waiting outside. Let’s have a talk, shall we?”_

_I don’t want to._

_My fingers are reaching for the doorknob._

_Don’t make me..._

_...betray Sei..._

_“...yes, Father.”_

* * *

“Akashi-kun,” Kuroko said, cornering his captain one day after practice. “I was wondering if you could come over this weekend because my mother seems to be feeling ill.”

Akashi turned around, calmly appraising the phantom sixth man. “I have work this weekend, so I will have to decline the invitation.”

Kuroko had long grown used to Akashi’s packed schedule. “Then, is there a day when you’re available?”

“I will let you know.”

He never did.

* * *

_I still cannot say no to my father. Not now, not ever._

* * *

“Where’s your friend?” Kuroko Tetsuna asked as the two of them sat in the kitchen, eating their dinners. “I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

Kuroko picked at his food quietly. “He won’t be coming here anymore.”

She looked at him, surprised, but Kuroko offered no explanation. The two of them finished their food in silence.

She took his plate from him after he was finished. “Does this mean that—”

“Yes, Mother. I’ll stay in my room.”

“Good boy.”

* * *

_“I’m back!”_

_The man turned around. “...Seijuro.”_

_The boy stopped. “Papa? What’s wrong? Why are you calling me that?”_

_“You will address me as Father from now on. It is only proper.”_

_The boy’s eyes widened. “What’s going on?”_

_The man eyed the dirt on the boy’s knees. “Go clean yourself up. You have work to do. There’s no time for playing.”_

_“W-what’s going on? Why are you treating me like this?”_

_The man closed his eyes as if he was in pain, but when he opened them, his face and voice were completely emotionless. “You are the heir to the Akashi household. That is your sole reason for existence. Failure will not be an option.”_

* * *

“Akashi-kun,” Kuroko said into the phone. “Please go visit your father.”

Akashi didn’t say anything, so Kuroko continued. “Just this once. Please listen to me.”

“Why?”

Kuroko swallowed. “I got a call from the hospital earlier. He...he might not have very long.”

There was a silence. And then, “Why are you telling me this?”

Kuroko was slightly appalled. “Because he’s your _father_.”

“That only means we share the same blood. Nothing else.” Kuroko had never heard Akashi’s voice so bitter before. He was one who always masked his emotions.

“Neither you nor him was there when I left. I am not obligated to take orders from either of you.”

* * *

_Seijuro enters middle school today._

_I haven’t apologized since that day, nor will I in the future._

_After all...it is what must be done. Even if I fight against it, it is unavoidable._

_Seijuro hasn’t called me ‘Papa’ since that day._

* * *

A K A S H I  S E I J U R O

Dead at age 68.

* * *

_He took off his mother’s wristband._

* * *

“I’m sorry for your loss,” the secretary said earnestly.

Akashi looked up. “My loss?”

The secretary looked slightly startled. “Your father. He died this morning.”

There was a slight pause, Akashi’s pen suspended in midair, but he recovered very quickly. “I see,” he muttered, resuming his writing. “Thank you for informing me.”

The secretary waited to see if he would say anything else.

He didn’t.

* * *

_“Man, Akashi got first_ again?! _”_

_“Yeah, but I heard that his family forces him to study. Apparently if he doesn’t do well, his family will disown him or something?”_

_“Are you serious? That’s harsh.”_

_“Yeah, I’m so glad I wasn’t born into his family.”_

* * *

“You want me,” Akashi said slowly. “To work with these kids?”

“Yes. Is there a problem?”

“I am a very busy man, Tetsuya.” Akashi looked down as several kindergarteners flocked around them. “I do not have time to be playing with children.”

“It’s only for awhile,” Kuroko said. “You might feel a little better if you get out sometimes instead of staying cooped up in that office of yours.” Kuroko paused. “I’m just trying to help you, Akashi-kun.”

Akashi glared at him, but stayed anyway. And for the next few hours, the two of them ran errands—cleaning up spills, breaking up fights and in general, making sure that everything was in order. It was fairly amusing to see Akashi do everyday chores, but if he minded it, he didn’t let it show.

As Akashi swept the floor, a parent arrived. He was a middle aged man carrying a briefcase and panting slightly, as if he had rushed over from work to get here.

A little kid launched himself into his arms, yelling, “Papa!” The man grinned happily as he swung the boy around.

Akashi looked over at Kuroko, who looked too innocent as he placed the stuffed animals back into the toy box.

“Tetsuya,” Akashi said smoothly, though his eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to help me or hurt me?”

* * *

_"Please,” I heard Seijuro say to one of the chauffeurs. “At least let me have my freedom at school.”_

_Apparently one of his friends saw the limousine today._

* * *

“This is ridiculous.”

Kuroko blinked. “It’s nice to see you, Murasakibara-kun.”

The tall giant—who still grew even after graduating high school—blinked down at him lazily. “Hello, Kuro-chin.”

“What’s ridiculous?”

“You.”

Kuroko blinked again. “Why?”

“You and Aka-chin.” Murasakibara yawned. “Why are you still angry at him?”

“I’m not angry at him.”

Murasakibara just stared. And then another yawn. “Kuro-chin, I never would have guessed that you were so immature.”

“You were playing basketball to defeat him in order to save him. Doesn’t it defeat the purpose if you start hating him right after?”

“I played basketball for myself, Murasakibara-kun.”

“Why do you hate him anyway?”

“I don’t hate him.”

Murasakibara gave him a look, but said nothing else.

* * *

_“Did you see that car? He must be loaded!”_

_“Don’t you think that’s why he gets such high grades? I bet his parents must have paid the teachers off.”_

_“It must be. How else can someone get all perfect scores?”_

_“Sheesh. Some people just have no shame.”_

* * *

If Akashi was asked what the greatest thing in his life was, he would answer with his basketball teams.

If he had to pinpoint a specific person, he would say Kuroko Tetsuya.

He spent more time with Midorima, of course. They were captain and vice-captain. They played shogi together. They talked both outside and during meetings. They were rarely apart.

But Midorima was predictable.

Kuroko, on the other hand, was not. His versatile style presented a new way of basketball. He challenged the conventional beliefs that one had to be talented to play sports. Even though he was neither tall nor fast, Kuroko managed to stand on the same court as the other five prodigies.

And off the court, Kuroko had no qualms about challenging Akashi.

Kuroko was something new.

And Akashi loved new things.

* * *

_“He was made vice-captain on the basketball team? Even with his height?”_

_“I told you, his parents are wealthy.”_

_“Isn’t this school’s basketball team supposed to be very good?”_

_“There’s nothing you can’t reach in this world if you have money or power. Akashi has both.”_

* * *

“If Kuroko Tetsuya is the old phantom sixth man, then Mayuzumi Chihiro is the new model.”

And as Kuroko stood and stared, feeling as if his heart had been broken into a thousand pieces, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed.

* * *

_“I heard his mom wasn’t anything special. Just some middle class girl.”_

_“Whoa, seriously? How did she land someone as rich as Akashi’s dad then?”_

_“I bet she was a mistress or something. They probably hooked up and he couldn’t ditch her once he discovered that she was pregnant with his son. You know how those rich families work. Sons are like diamonds.”_

_“Shush! Akashi’s looking over here!”_

* * *

“Akashi-kun,” Kuroko said as he sat on the bench. Teiko was playing some other school, but nobody was interested in the game any longer. The point difference was too big. “You keep sending me to talk to Aomine-kun, but he never listens.”

Akashi didn’t say anything.

“Isn’t there a better way of approaching it?”

Akashi finally turned to look at him. “Tetsuya.” The way he smiled made Kuroko shiver. “Do you trust me?”

“...”

“ _Tetsuya._ ” This time, the name was said more forcibly.

“...yes, I do.”

* * *

_“I think,” Kuroko said loudly one day, walking over to three boys. They looked up at him, shouting in surprise when he suddenly appeared in front of their eyes. Behind him, the rest of the starters sat in a circle, though they were all watching the conversation with interest. “That you should stop it.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Please leave Akashi-kun alone,” Kuroko said. “What he does is not your concern. Wouldn’t you feel bad if people started making up stories about your personal life? Akashi-kun is a person too.”_

_The boys at least had the decency to look ashamed, and after being satisfied with their apologies, Kuroko marched right back to his teammates and continued eating like nothing had happened._

_It was then that Akashi developed a respect for Kuroko very similar to the one the phantom sixth man had for his captain._

* * *

“You...you used me.”

Akashi glanced over at him.

“You knew that if I went to talk to Aomine-kun, we would end up arguing and he would get angry and he would score more points in a game. You purposely broke up our friendship just so Teiko could win by a bigger margin. And everything you said to me before, those nice words about needing me...everything was a lie.”

Akashi didn’t look fazed at all. “Is everything not for the sake of victory? After all, there is nothing more important than being the victor in this world. Only the strongest and the fittest survive.”

Kuroko had no one. Everyone had changed for the worst. And Aomine, his best friend, the one he could bare his soul to, was gone. And Akashi...

“Akashi-kun,” Kuroko whispered. “Am I still needed?”

“You are a nice ornament for the team,” Akashi replied simply. “But you are no longer needed. The team is good enough to function without you.”

* * *

_“Hah?! Akashi asked you to go to the zoo with him?”_

_“Yes. He said that since I’m new to the team, we haven’t gotten to know each other very well. It’s a good opportunity for us to talk.”_

_“You can talk at school! Going to the zoo alone with him seems like a date!”_

_“Don’t be silly, Aomine-kun. We’re just going to look at the animals.”_

_“Tch.”_

_“I’ll tell you how it goes.”_

_“Gross. I don’t want to know about your date.”_

_“...”_

* * *

Perhaps Murasakibara was right.

It did seem very immature if he thought about it.

Ogiwara had already moved on. He had forgiven everyone, including Akashi. Gave him a big cheerful hug, even. Which Akashi had hated. Perhaps that was why he did it.

He had already patched up his friendship with Aomine and though they weren’t the same as they were back at Teiko, perhaps they were even better now. After all, obstacles in a relationship only help to further strengthen the bond.

So now, the only reason for his grudge was for himself. The pain at being manipulated, betrayed and then replaced by another. The pain of being left to fend with his mother when Akashi suddenly decided to stop supporting him.

But it was long in the past. His mother was dead. Mayuzumi Chihiro was somewhere across the globe. There was nothing left except this feeling of hatred in Kuroko that had long been dying out anyway.

And so Kuroko reached for his phone.

Akashi wouldn’t take the first step. So he would.

“Hello, Akashi-kun? Would you like to come to the zoo with me?”

* * *

_“Whoa! Tetsu, I almost didn’t see you!” Aomine suddenly noticed his expression. “Are you alright? What are you doing here?”_

_“...Akashi-kun couldn’t make it,” Kuroko mumbled. “He had family work.”_

_“Oh.” Aomine scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Well, there’s always next time, right?”_

_“Yeah.” Kuroko dragged his feet on the ground. “But I was looking forward to it.”_

* * *

“We didn’t get to go before, so if we’re free, we can go together now.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Akashi-kun?”

“Isn’t it a decade late?”

“It’s better late than never, right? I’ll meet you at the park in an hour.”

“Tetsuya, I am busy.”

“Please make time. I’m already on my way.”

* * *

_“My father?” Akashi asked. “Why do you want to know?”_

_“I’m curious.” The two of them sat together in the corner of the classroom. “Akashi-kun knows about my mother, so I want to know about your father.”_

_Akashi sighed. “He is not a good man.”_

_Kuroko eyed him. “He’s not?”_

_“No.” A small nostalgic smile appeared on his face, as if he was remembering something fondly. “At least, not anymore.”_

* * *

“That was fun,” Kuroko commented as the two of them left the zoo, both with a stuffed zebra in their arms. “Did you have fun, Akashi-kun?”

Instead of answering, Akashi’s lips curled up. “Have you decided to forgive me, Tetsuya?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

Akashi smirked. “Did you get that from a book?”

“I’m being serious here, Akashi-kun. This is a defining moment for me.”

“I apologize. Please continue.”

It was almost like old times.

“Please come with me, Akashi-kun. I have something I wanted to show you.”

* * *

_“Seijuro, are your studies going well?_

_“Yes._

_“Are you enjoying school?”_

_“I am.”_

_“Are you happy?”_

_There was a pause as Seijuro turned to stare right at him, as if wondering why he was asking. “...yes.”_

_The man shifted uncomfortably, as if wanting to say something else. But he caught himself before he did and just simply gave a nod._

_The words stayed lodged in his throat._

_‘I’m glad.’_

* * *

“...is this your new kind of morbid humor?”

“My humor is never morbid.”

“Is this where you like to spend your free time?”

“...Akashi-kun is the one with the morbid humor.”

Akashi sighed. “I should have known that you would do this.”

“Are you upset?”

Akashi glanced down at the stone on the ground. “I suppose it was about time I pay my dear father a visit anyway.”

* * *

_I am ill, and I might not have long to live._

_I regret to leave Seijuro on these terms. He does not come to visit anymore. Even after the nurses call him, he does not leave the office. He is now focused on working and performing well that he does not even take the time to go out and experience the world._

_And I, who promised never to let him become like that, did that to him myself. The pressure I applied to him over the years, the expectations...it is a wonder that he hasn’t caved in._

_This will be my last journal entry and I will leave it here, just in case Seijuro should ever decide to visit my room and find it. It does not say much except vilify my character, but perhaps he can tell from this a father’s regret. A father, who could not stand up to his own father, changed his son into someone he was not._

_And it is truly regretful that I will never be able to see his cheerful face again._

_If there is an afterlife, or another life, I would like to meet him again in it. I would present him as a father would, showing him off proudly. No matter if he was intelligent or stupid, handsome or ugly. I would show him off to the world._

* * *

Akashi was still kneeling by the gravestone when Kuroko walked over and held his hand out.

In it was a wristband.

Akashi stilled, then looked up at him. “Where did you get that?”

“Your father gave it to me,” Kuroko said, taking Akashi’s hand and placing the trinket in it. “He also apologized and told me to tell you not to worry about working anymore. He said something like ‘just let the Akashi name burn to the ground!’ or something like that.”

Akashi remained silent.

“He also called out your name before he died,” Kuroko said, unsure whether or not to continue, but decided that Akashi had the right to know. “Not your full name. Sei.”

“...I see.” Akashi’s face was toward the ground, so Kuroko couldn’t see his expression.

Kuroko kneeled down next to him. “There are a lot of things I wished to say to my mother when she was alive,” he said. “But I didn’t realize them until after she was dead. However, when I went to her grave, there was nothing to say anymore. Because she was dead and was never coming back.

“She caused me a lot of grief,” Kuroko continued. “But she also caused me a lot of happiness as well. Even though I disliked being near her, I also loved when she was around. Isn’t that the same with your father, Akashi-kun?”

Akashi didn’t say anything.

“Do you remember what you told me?” Kuroko asked. “‘It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.’?” He smiled. “Don’t you think that applies to relationships as well? My mother and I. You and I. And your father and you.”

“...yes.” Akashi traced the letters on the gravestone with his finger.

“It’s alright to cry, Akashi-kun.”

In the end, Akashi didn’t cry. He finished tracing the letters with his fingers and then made to stand up. However, he changed his mind last minute and put the wristband on his left wrist and placed it to the gravestone, so that the wristband and his hand and the stone were all touching.

In the end, he only muttered on word before he stood up and left.

But that one word was enough for Kuroko, and he thought that if Akashi’s father was watching, it would be enough for him as well.

_‘Papa.’_

* * *

_And when that time comes, I will present him to the world. And as the others watched, I would proudly say..._

_“This is Sei.”_

_“...my son.”_


End file.
